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…go online and listen to this song, sung either by antony and the johnsons (which i prefer) or leonard cohen. I just like how intense it gets in the end… “If It Be Your Will” If it be your will That I speak no more And my voice be still As it was before I … Continue reading

It’s looking like a limb torn off…

or all together now, just taken apart… I feel like screaming. crying. leaving. staying. sucking it up. running back home. being in your arms. being strong. doing what i want. doing what i need. taking a hot shower. sleeping for four months. being wherever you are.   but mostly feel like crying.

i’ll be home for christmas…

Christmas was a pretty typical event. If the sound of slamming doors, screams, and sobs are typical. There were only eight of us to celebrate in texas this year, Tim the oldest being left in India, but there was still plenty of drama and heartbreak to go around. Basically, Scotty (the 27 year old and … Continue reading

….it’s definately winter

December’s familiar by the ache in my chest and the dread that’s captured my breath firm fisted and anxious I count the reasons it would be better to leave But hope a whore who I indulge in though I know i’ll leave feeling empty So I take a deep breath and convinced I can handle … Continue reading

New Artist

Gregory Crewdson

Some wants are needs

I want to paint something so remarkable it makes me feel satisfied I want to say I did something worthwhile I want to love like it’s the only thing I want to make children feel beautiful and capable of healing I want to remember every bad thing that has happened to me I want to … Continue reading

Timelines are so Passe

+ climbing up the tamarind tree, so old and comforting I was so little + smoking rolled up paper while the guard smoked cigarettes it felt so grown up + The treehouse where we played endlessly forcing me to grow up + The man with the clueless face and m&ms a stupid grown up + … Continue reading


It’s a stepIt’s a step in the right directionIt’s a tough and final decision‘Cause where will I go when I’m feeling blue?Spinnin’ my wheelsWastin’ my timeMakin’ you feel you’ve nothing to hideSo save me and tell me how it all got so doubtfulLeave me nothing at allBack on the old roadYou’re wishing you’ll wind me … Continue reading

Things that make me happy :]

1. cardboard box forts 2. sidewalk chalk 3.candyland 4. cloves 5. clouds 6. star gazing 7. holding your hand 8. your patience I don’t deserve 9. waking up and feeling genuinely happy 10. feeling pretty without makeup 11. hugs from my baby brother 12. listening to records 13. indian foods 14. rainbows 15. birds 16. … Continue reading


i want to be this good