I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why

I don't know where this strength comes from
It's not from me.
Seeing someone I am so in love with walk out the door to a new life,
it isn't something I should have the strength to handle.
But I am handling. I sit on my floor and listen to paul and art on the record player.
I look at nothing and concentrate on not reminiscing. It's rather lame and childish.
But it's handling.I didn't know this until now, but I can handle things.
Even if it's just the small things I've experienced in my short little life.
I'd rather not though.
So if there is anyone who would like to buy a hot air balloon with me
and roam around the world, I think we should get on that. rather rapidly.

Until then, I will spend time with my beautiful married friend and take long drives 
with herto no where in particular.

And I will mend old relationships that have fallen through the floorboard 
of some bitter old house of miscommunication and grudges.

And I will stick through friendships that have no where to go but through the mud
and hope they turn out ok.
Though there is the possibility they might not be ok.

With contentment being something that has always taken flight 
as soon as I approach it,
I should probably grow up and learn to deal with that issue
However, I probably won't this year or any year
and I can't wait to move and get away and do something new.
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Comments
3 Responses to “I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why”
  1. Rachel Halsey says:

    i really like this and i really like you. and i’m so proud of you all the time, but especially these past few weeks [months].
    you can drive around with me anytime :]
    i like the adventures. xo.

  2. i like this.
    you can handle.
    youre my hero.

  3. Sperceize says:

    Hi, cool site, good writing 😉

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