You use to be everything and I filled up my day with some Christian Satisfaction

praising and praying oh GOD how I could pray

everyday and about everything

no body was so holy and I could sleep so easily with eyes closed and feel so self preserved

with every word that would come out of my mouth and grace my god I was so proud of myself

It’s much harder now to find any rest or relief but at least my eyes are partially open

though my jaw is torn my body is worn


You’re the ache in my bones and the tatter in my clothes but you are real

as I smoke and I drink and lose sleep you are real

yet you’re everything I cannot feel and I’d take this everyday over what I thought I felt

but it was merely the touch of religious hands paralyzing me as the poison slowly seeped in

and me unaware and so fucking prepared to live a life with closed eyes sleeping

with dreams of pretty churches and boys who truly love you so they believe as they

take off girls clothes in the name of self-control their god forgiving everything they do

so break hearts and live peacefully in sweet undisturbed dreams

I can’t sleep.

Not with my face in the ground and ashes on my head

God is everyone dead

or are they paralyzed their bodies turning into liquid

no longer useful but for filling up wine glasses disguised as your love

“This is my blood. Take”

O God we Take and we Take and we Take

so much more what else can we acquire for our selfish desires

to be achieved from this religious belief so we sink in our teeth

and draw out all we can and there is no empty mouth

then we sleep.

Thank God I feel so restless.

One Response to “Restless”
  1. gorgeous. I just posted a prayer as well.
    Thanks for your comments on my sites.
    Tell me if you wish to know more.

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